Great Expectations
We all do it and it’s really quite a normal part of life. We enter the world expecting that when we cry someone will be there to fill one end and empty the other. We grow up expecting to have several meals a day, a place to live be it in the projects or a palace, and we just know there will always be support for anything we choose to undertake. We go off to school and even that is an expectation that we have and we look forward to the fulfillment thereof; and of course others have the idea that we will be starting school at a certain age. And so it goes through all of life’s stages.
There is nothing innately wrong with expecting certain things to happen in a given order, however, when these expectations don’t bring the results we would like to see what happens in our emotions?
Without getting deeply into the psychology of it, I’m not a psychologist, I am merely a human who has at times had expectations that were not met amd it stinks! Hurt wants to creep in, judgements against the person who failed me, criticism and resentment want to take up permanent residency.
So would it be better if I discipline myself to no longer expect anything of anyone? I cannot imagine what a relationship would be like if that were the case! There are many, many times and certain situations where it is entirely acceptable to expect certain things and that goes without saying. Then there are those times when we really should communicate our expectation to the other person involved, after all they are not mind readers. The big difference here is when my children were young it was just fine for them to expect that I would feed them breakfast before they went off to school in the morning. In fact, I expected that of myself! But if they wanted to go to a friend’s house after school and needed me to pick them up afterward, that would be where the communication comes in. How could I know otherwise?
I look at many people and see pain and anger because of unmet expectations, and with that comes broken relationships. Husband and wife, parent and child, friends and business partners all suffering because something they thought should have been done one way, wasn’t. No matter that the end result was probably the same. And even if it wasn’t....
Sometimes we wrongly have very specific expectations of certain people in any given circumstance and we will almost certainly be disappointed, and that is possibly more of a control issue.
I am speaking to myself more than anyone today, because I see this as something of a personal challenge and it has been on my mind a lot lately!
Everyone will not always do or be what I need them to do or be. Then I need to examine my own heart, did I expect something that they were incapable of giving and therefore sabotage the situation? Or maybe for very good reason the time just wasn’t right, and my wish went unfulfilled. Time to dig out forgiveness and keep going forward! Time to affirm love and confidence in the other and become more sensitive to others’ situations! Maybe it’s also time to think about sharpening those communication skills, after all what do you expect?
Expecting and fulfilling others’ expectations is what makes the world go ‘round. Don’t stop. Do stop expecting unfairly and then building a wall out of hurt.
Right now I expect I have said enough and will just get on my way to the party!
There is nothing innately wrong with expecting certain things to happen in a given order, however, when these expectations don’t bring the results we would like to see what happens in our emotions?
Without getting deeply into the psychology of it, I’m not a psychologist, I am merely a human who has at times had expectations that were not met amd it stinks! Hurt wants to creep in, judgements against the person who failed me, criticism and resentment want to take up permanent residency.
So would it be better if I discipline myself to no longer expect anything of anyone? I cannot imagine what a relationship would be like if that were the case! There are many, many times and certain situations where it is entirely acceptable to expect certain things and that goes without saying. Then there are those times when we really should communicate our expectation to the other person involved, after all they are not mind readers. The big difference here is when my children were young it was just fine for them to expect that I would feed them breakfast before they went off to school in the morning. In fact, I expected that of myself! But if they wanted to go to a friend’s house after school and needed me to pick them up afterward, that would be where the communication comes in. How could I know otherwise?
I look at many people and see pain and anger because of unmet expectations, and with that comes broken relationships. Husband and wife, parent and child, friends and business partners all suffering because something they thought should have been done one way, wasn’t. No matter that the end result was probably the same. And even if it wasn’t....
Sometimes we wrongly have very specific expectations of certain people in any given circumstance and we will almost certainly be disappointed, and that is possibly more of a control issue.
I am speaking to myself more than anyone today, because I see this as something of a personal challenge and it has been on my mind a lot lately!
Everyone will not always do or be what I need them to do or be. Then I need to examine my own heart, did I expect something that they were incapable of giving and therefore sabotage the situation? Or maybe for very good reason the time just wasn’t right, and my wish went unfulfilled. Time to dig out forgiveness and keep going forward! Time to affirm love and confidence in the other and become more sensitive to others’ situations! Maybe it’s also time to think about sharpening those communication skills, after all what do you expect?
Expecting and fulfilling others’ expectations is what makes the world go ‘round. Don’t stop. Do stop expecting unfairly and then building a wall out of hurt.
Right now I expect I have said enough and will just get on my way to the party!
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