Can You Pay the Price?.
No, I will not be giving a lecture on staying within your budget whilst Christmas shopping!
The past couple of weeks have brought my mind back to a time about eight years ago. This happens every year, causing me to reflect on such a painful time in my life that I really don’t want to go there. Yet, I do. The positive note in this is a quick look back affords me the opportunity to be thankful for where God has brought me from, as well as a reminder that I do not have to repeat history. A quick look back being the key here. Any more and I could totally mess up where I’m going!
Eight years ago I called the ambulance for the last time to transport my very ill husband to the hospital. He spent the next twenty four hours or so in a comatose condition. He then, rallied and remained in hospital ( other than forty eight hours at home on a pass over Christmas ) until he graduated into the presence of Jesus, his Lord, one month later.
With these memories come all the thoughts of what I shoulda, coulda, woulda done differently had I known how fleeting life is. Oh, I always knew how fragile life is; how it could be changed in the blink of an eye, for myself or a loved one. But you can never really KNOW until you have walked that path.
I remember just before he was told the cancer was back for the third time, and it was angry and aggressive. He was leaving for work and something ( very small and inconsequential ) happened. I made a thoughtless remark, not meaning any hurt, but realizing later how it had made him feel demeaned. In the moment, his answer back was not nice or up-lifting either. Then he left the house and I went to empty the dishwasher, still fuming. The emotional state I was in made it easy for a small plate to slip from my grasp and smash on the counter top. I stopped what I was doing, looked at it and thought, ‘That felt GOOD! Yeah!’ Then I proceeded to smash the next three on purpose, every crash feeling better than the one before!
The problem was, the good feeling was fleeting as I realized a very nice set of dishes was now minus four side plates! I reached for the phone and made a very important call, after which all was clean, new and forgiven.
At this point I realized I was not willing to pay the price for that kind of anger; it just isn’t worth it!
Life is too short. That was only dishes but there have been other times, other situations where more was at stake and my friends, it’s not worth it.
Nine months later as that dear man lay in a hospital room and we were saying good- bye to each other with breaking hearts, I couldn’t help but think of that morning and wish with all my heart it hadn’t happened! I no longer have those dishes (because I eventually gave them away; I did not smash them all ) but as long as I had them and kept coming up short on the small plates I would think, ‘What a
price to pay for a small situation like that’.
That tiny memory kept me from saying and doing a lot of things that I would have later regretted.
As I continue down this road called LIFE my prayer for you is that you will navigate this road too, with only fleeting glances in the rear view mirror. Just long enough to remember and learn from the past, but keep your eyes glued to what’s ahead. God has great things up there for you!
Keep in mind there is a price attached to every choice you make. Forgiveness is free but guilt will bankrupt you; don’t wallow in it.
Enjoy the ride on the way to the party!
The past couple of weeks have brought my mind back to a time about eight years ago. This happens every year, causing me to reflect on such a painful time in my life that I really don’t want to go there. Yet, I do. The positive note in this is a quick look back affords me the opportunity to be thankful for where God has brought me from, as well as a reminder that I do not have to repeat history. A quick look back being the key here. Any more and I could totally mess up where I’m going!
Eight years ago I called the ambulance for the last time to transport my very ill husband to the hospital. He spent the next twenty four hours or so in a comatose condition. He then, rallied and remained in hospital ( other than forty eight hours at home on a pass over Christmas ) until he graduated into the presence of Jesus, his Lord, one month later.
With these memories come all the thoughts of what I shoulda, coulda, woulda done differently had I known how fleeting life is. Oh, I always knew how fragile life is; how it could be changed in the blink of an eye, for myself or a loved one. But you can never really KNOW until you have walked that path.
I remember just before he was told the cancer was back for the third time, and it was angry and aggressive. He was leaving for work and something ( very small and inconsequential ) happened. I made a thoughtless remark, not meaning any hurt, but realizing later how it had made him feel demeaned. In the moment, his answer back was not nice or up-lifting either. Then he left the house and I went to empty the dishwasher, still fuming. The emotional state I was in made it easy for a small plate to slip from my grasp and smash on the counter top. I stopped what I was doing, looked at it and thought, ‘That felt GOOD! Yeah!’ Then I proceeded to smash the next three on purpose, every crash feeling better than the one before!
The problem was, the good feeling was fleeting as I realized a very nice set of dishes was now minus four side plates! I reached for the phone and made a very important call, after which all was clean, new and forgiven.
At this point I realized I was not willing to pay the price for that kind of anger; it just isn’t worth it!
Life is too short. That was only dishes but there have been other times, other situations where more was at stake and my friends, it’s not worth it.
Nine months later as that dear man lay in a hospital room and we were saying good- bye to each other with breaking hearts, I couldn’t help but think of that morning and wish with all my heart it hadn’t happened! I no longer have those dishes (because I eventually gave them away; I did not smash them all ) but as long as I had them and kept coming up short on the small plates I would think, ‘What a
price to pay for a small situation like that’.
That tiny memory kept me from saying and doing a lot of things that I would have later regretted.
As I continue down this road called LIFE my prayer for you is that you will navigate this road too, with only fleeting glances in the rear view mirror. Just long enough to remember and learn from the past, but keep your eyes glued to what’s ahead. God has great things up there for you!
Keep in mind there is a price attached to every choice you make. Forgiveness is free but guilt will bankrupt you; don’t wallow in it.
Enjoy the ride on the way to the party!
Comments
Post a Comment